Yes, Please!

On Satsang, Superheroes & Shaking

The other day my consciousness went poof! and stretched itself out into infinity. It was a moment of self-liberation that also revealed how I've been containing myself. Just before the poof, I'd witnessed a picture unfolding in my mind saturated with the most vivid color and detail–something I didn't even know I could do! Then, it felt like the unlimited energy of all that richness and life exploded out into the vastness, coloring it all in. It was as if a cloaking device had been disarmed and a hidden reality unfurled from the inside out–consciousness radiating outward, illuminating itself.

It was such an aha! moment to remember that the liberation I've been waiting for has been here all along. I AM this liberation, a boundlessness playing with the experience of perspective. It reminded me of my deep love for the self-discovery narrative of superhero movies, when the hero doesn't yet know what they're capable of and delights in the uncovering and gradual mastery of each new gift. Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel discovering they can fly are two of my favorites! Both women become more of who they've been all along by letting go and trusting in their own power.

Feeling the weighty richness and wholeness of what we truly are offers the deepest sense of contentment and stability. I still often catch myself reaching outward for a sense of connection that I know can never be satisfied. When I, instead, turn inward and connect to what's already here, though, I'm rarely disappointed. Just smiling can act like a bat signal inviting my vibrating energy to recognize itself and join the party! All the energy will begin to bubble up and soon my smile will become too big to contain.

The joy can almost hurt, and my entire face sometimes stretches itself out into delicious, expansive tension. I've felt guided to massage my face and scalp lately too; my crown, especially, has felt sensitive and itchy–that feeling when you've had your hair pulled back for a while and you don't realize until releasing it how sore your scalp is. When I first started feeling my energy expand during meditation, my body would often tighten and I'd remind myself to relax and let go. Lately though, instead of trying to correct my body's natural responses, I've just been going with the flow. All the tension feels amazing and I trust in my body's natural intelligence, so I figure, why not embrace its reactions?

I've also discovered through practicing TRE–tension and trauma release exercises that induce natural tremors in the body–that tension can actually facilitate energetic release. TRE's method is based on the instinctual shaking observed in animals, including humans, after surviving a stressful or life-threatening event. It involves holding your body in positions that stretch and stress certain muscles to make them tremor. It's believed that this shaking naturally discharges fight, flight, or freeze response energy so that it's not carried forward by the body after the event. I've stuck with TRE because the shaking feels really good and my vibration seems to increase in response.

I've always marveled at the power of resonance or entrainment between energies, especially two seeming individuals reflecting, grounding, and empowering each other. My vibration loved a virtual Satsang that I recently attended with the amazing Pamela Wilson. Its childlike joy energy recognized itself in Pamela immediately, a napping puppy whose ears suddenly perked up. Then, as Pamela worked with other attendees, I started to see my own inner workings and reactions incredibly clearly. When a “problem” was presented, I went into “solution” mode.

Pamela, however, did not. It was like I could only see a narrow window to squeeze through while Pamela was opening up an invisible door from the other side. She embraced the seeming problem like a lost child who just needed a comforting presence to get their bearings back. I watched people transform before my eyes as Pamela invited their naturalness, as she called it, to recognize itself and come out to play. Pamela's naturalness is the inner child, I Amness, essence, awareness, ancient intelligence, and also humanness. Her naturalness was like a siren's song, a snake-charmer lulling fearful energies back into the mesmerizing sea of consciousness.

I watched the dark remember again and again that it was actually made of light. I witnessed the unknown's transformation into pure potential. There was definitely a transmission, a feeling of someone else's orbit mixing with yours, or a tractor beam pulling you back towards the mothership. I felt all of our pilot lights glowing even brighter in recognition of themselves, and all I could think was, whatever she is, whatever is happening right now, sign me up! Look how kind and compassionate I can be! Look how wise I really am! Look how my light makes other people shine! As Pamela would say, Yes, please!